#joey: my bff has a whole other personality

[deathandnonexistentialdread]

No one talks about this enough but props to my boy Jonouchi for going through the five stages in record time

[maraczeks]

friends s4 thread pt 1

[yellowocaballero]

I love your writing but I don't read any batman comics or watch any batman shows or seen a single batman movie except like, two and a half episodes of teen titans go. I mean I do know some basics from internet osmosis but that only covers Wayne family adventures pretty much. So ummm who were all those people with dick lol

Oh yes! I like writing stuff that's really widely accessible because I like beating out my own tunes, but I've been on a big comic kick again and sometimes I will write stuff that's less accessible. The new stupid long story will also not be as accessible, sorry! I try to explain stuff for people unfamiliar with the canon plotline.

Without going into a ton of spoilers for the main plotline of the fic, but covering what I stated in the fic:

Dick Grayson AKA Nightwing is the leader of the Teen Titans, a superhero team that (in this universe) he joined when he was 18. In actual canon he was a founder with Wally and Donna (and Garth but who cares). Out of universe, the Teen Titans were invented in the 1960s. The Teen Titans listed are from the slightly later stages of the 1980s comic. The team is formed out of:

Three members from the original 1960s team: the Flash's sidekick Wally West (Kid Flash), Wonder Woman's sidekick Donna Troy (Wonder Girl, later Troia), and Dick Grayson (Robin, later Nightwing). They've all always been friends since the 60s and Donna and Dick especially are best friends, something I think people should mention more! Guy/Girl BFFs, cowards!!!

In the 1980s they were joined by the other, arguably most famous members of the cast. They're most famous because they were the cast members from the 2005 Teen Titans show, which was the cast from the Teen Titans Go show you saw. They would be Victor Stone (Cyborg, who has a serious personality in the comics), Garfield Logan (Beast Boy, jokey and fun in any incarnation), Koriand'r (Starfire, warrior alien princess), and Raven (Raven, hellspawn and #gothgirl).

More obscure dudes also listed (AKA not major characters in the TV show or around since the 60s) would be Joey Wilson (Jericho, who is Slade's son and mute, so he uses ASL). He's not that obscure. More obscure is Panthera (panther lady?) and Danny Chase (deeply fucking annoying). I admit I only know Panthera and Danny Chase from osmosis, I've only read a few comics from this run. There were other guys too but they looked boring.

All that you really needed to know is that they're his friends, Kori is his girlfriend, Dick leads the team, that they're a #ragtagbunchofmisfits, that Joey is Slade's son, and that Dick has a guilt complex. Kind of.

Slade Wilson AKA Deathstroke is like Dick's Arch Nemesis and was the first real antagonist for the series, as well as the antagonist for the most famous arc The Judas Contract (whereupon Slade planted Terra in the team as a #spy). He's probably most famous for being the main bad guy in the cartoon, and who uh kinda fucked as a bad guy. He's always canonically the "COME JOIN ME" bad guy and is always after Dick as an apprentice. There's an arc in both the comics and the show where he kidnaps Dick and forces him to work for him, which causes some pretty lasting trauma in him in both incarnations. He's also a terrible dad and a failhusband. I don't read him too much in the comics so I can't say for sure how interesting the comics get with him, but his relationship with Dick is always very fraught and complex and has a lot of history. He has a lot of respect for Dick and he takes him seriously as an adversary no matter his age but he thinks Batman is lame and that Dick should kill people and stuff and JOIN HIMMMM.

In this AU, basically because Dick's life before Nightwing was kept under absolute wraps, and Slade was so obsessed with the apprentice stuff, I think Slade thought it was funny/satisfying to make up this whole shared backstory between them that Dick just couldn't disagree with jkalsdjf. Because Dick is much more of a spy than in canon he also has a lot of juicy blackmail (from his ex-wife, I think lol) on him. So they have bother a closer relationship and a more M.A.D. one than in canon. I think Slade finds it delightful that Dick isn't as good of a person as he pretends, and I think Dick lost most of his family at once, including his very drill sergeant and hard-edged father and must have, even unwillingly, reacted to somebody who was actually trying to parent him. Well. "Parent".

Wow, that was long and I didn't even digress. I'm always stunned by how y'all will read something no matter the fandom if it's by me, thank you so much! It makes me very happy to give you guys stuff like the Steph thing, where I love the idea of it being an introduction to Batman. Unfortunately internet Batman and comics Batman have. uhhhhh. drifted. apart. and. harder to click into if you aren't as into the comics, but thank you brave soldiers!

[finding-fallen-stars]

YGO Questionnaire Part 2 Electric Boogaloo

So, my gf/bf @howaboutalittlehelpneos tagged me to do this again a... good long while ago, and I had wanted to wait until I'd finished my GX rewatch before trying this again. But ouch oof I accidentally also got through all of 5Ds again before getting to this lol

But the 5Ds rewatch definitely reshaped a lot of my thoughts, so... cracks knuckles. This won't be spoiler free, fair warning~

Favorite Series: ugh the formatting killed my original essay on this but okay GX and 5Ds are pretty tied in my book, now-- I love them equally, but in different ways! GX fulfills my love for subversive coming-of-age stories with a heartwarming, humorous, and also soulcrushing touch, and I love how each season brings a new story and new characters-- it's like reading installments of a novel series, and I think the formatting works wonders for it as a whole. It has some absolutely phenomenal character writing, too-- even the characters I dislike are ones I can appreciate for what they introduce to the story! And honestly, not enough people give the first two seasons of GX the credit it deserves: they're half the charm, really. How are you going to feel the full impact of the heartbreaking content in seasons 3 and 4 if you aren't properly attached to the characters?

But on 5Ds's side of things... it fulfills my love for stories with time loops, found family, human nature, and of course, love and death and how they intertwine. I love how the leading characters are just a bunch of broken kids from broken circumstances who all find a home with each other, and of course, how it highlights class disparity and how fucked up the prison/"justice" systems are. Yea, sure, maybe it underwent executive meddling and all, but I genuinely love it for what it is and I wish more people appreciated it... my only problem with 5Ds is the untwist with Z-ONE and then the ending s m h I adore it overall and I could go off for a long while on it. Overall, these are my two instinctive recommendations for anyone getting into Yugioh!

(look at these boys they're so important) Favorite Protagonist: Oh, believe me, absolutely nothing has changed here-- Yusei Fudo is and always will be my favorite protagonist, and my rewatch only solidified that.

I just... love him so much? He's seen so much hell in his life and carries so much guilt on his shoulders, but he still has room in his heart to believe in others and to believe that anyone can defy fate and find hope even at rock bottom. I love that he's initially introduced as this quiet, brooding figure when he really just turns out to be a huge softie who wears his heart on his sleeve half the time and wants to bring about change for Satellite and its people. Plus I just really love that his greatest flaw is something that would ordinarily be a positive trait-- he's Overly self-sacrificial, to the point where he's basically setting himself on fire to keep others warm, and that's not really framed as something Heroic

Just... he makes me so happy. I have two Yusei charms that I ordinarily keep on my keys (one was a gift from Zenzen) and they're a constant source of serotonin for me. He's Peak comfort character for me. Best protag in my book Favorite Rival: Same deal here-- still Manjoume!

look at him he's so important

While he spends a lot of the anime getting the good old damsel in distress treatment (getting suckered into a cult, getting knocked into a coma, becoming a zombie, getting fucking Killed, etc), I still think his character arc is really well-written overall and I only appreciated it even more when I watched GX again. I love the fact that he's got a soft heart he buries beneath the edgy facade, and that he's simultaneously really sharp and also kind of dense lol. He's just a fun character and watching how he evolves from episode one to episode one hundred eighty is such a satisfying journey.

Plus, props to him for being such a versatile duelist-- 50 wins in a row is HARD as is, let alone with a deck full of cards he just found laying around in the Arctic. Three ace monsters, three different archetypes... he's a really good duelist and I'm proud of him for it

Oh, but honestly, I don't really dislike any of the rivals-- I'm neutral towards Revolver and Reiji, but the remaining four (Kaiba, Manjoume, Jack, and Shark) compel me. yes I accidentally wound up liking Jack Atlas shhh Favorite BFF: Honestly, I really like most of the characters who fit this archetype-- Joey, Crow, Gongenzaka, Soulburner... I still lean a little bit more towards Joey, but I really appreciate all four of them. I'm gonna say Joey again, just because I find his evolution as a character the most compelling, but I appreciate the other three a lot. Soulburner has the best design though Favorite GFF: Oh absolutely still Aki, but I honestly... really love most female Yugioh characters? I'm assuming this is lead girls only, but like. I'm dumb and gay and I love Girls so this is naturally the most difficult one for me to answer lol

Aki just resonates with me the most because she's the prime example of how trauma doesn't always manifest in palatable ways-- when we first meet her, she's angry and lashes out at anyone and anything just because she wants the world to suffer in the same ways she's suffered, and then... we get to watch her grow from that, once she's free from Divine and able to heal the way she needs to heal. I know the second half of 5Ds didn't give her character the attention it deserved, but I'm still proud of her for winding up on the path she did-- seeing her channel her power and energy into wanting to heal and help others was just so good and was one of the few things I really Loved about the 5Ds ending.

oh, but like. Asuka Tenjoin and Aoi Zaizen are very close seconds for me!!! Aki just has a vice grip on my heart Favorite Villain: Okay, it's still technically Vector-- I think he's the most entertaining, well-written, and effective villain out of all of the ones we've seen so far, but... I also want to add Takuma Saiou and then all of Yliaster as honorable mentions?

As someone fond of tarot myself, I was naturally pretty intrigued by Saiou the first time I watched GX, but my attachment to him only grew the second time around where I actually got the chance to understand his character better. Plus, like... the visuals with him are fucking astounding and he's always so interesting to watch.

As for Yliaster, I just... really love how the big bad of 5Ds turned out to just essentially be a broken man desperate to save anyone and anything and three robotic reconstructions of the friends he'd lost. I still think the untwist with Z-ONE was stupid and I much prefer the idea of him and Yusei being the same person, but I'm still compelled by the other three-- well. Paradox less so, because we don't get a lot of Paradox lore, but. Aporia and Antinomy for sure.

ugh Yugioh has some damn good villains

Favorite Card: now that I actually play the TCG game...

Stardust is always going to be my favorite of all cards because it checks every box for me (my favorite YGO character's ace monster, space theme, what more could I want), but Aromaseraphy Rosemary has really become one of my aces in my best TCG deck! I'm still mastering irl plays, but I'm happy with my progress and I love my plant gang...

Favorite Episode: alright, here's where there's actually been a Lot of change, so...

Season 0: Episode 16: "Turnabout by a Hair's Breadth - The White-Robed Crisis" -- The more I think about this one, the more I love it; there's a... lot of corruption in the medical industry, and I've seen a lot of it firsthand, so just. Seeing a corrupt doctor get what he deserved at the end was cathartic, in a way? Plus, a Jounouchi-centric episode is always a good time.

Duel Monsters: Episodes 96-97: "Darkness vs. Darkness/One Turn Kill" -- this hasn't changed, I still love seeing Marik and Bakura bitch at each other for two whole episodes LMAO

GX: Episode 152: "Activate Super-Fusion! Rainbow Neos" -- This one hasn't changed and it likely never will-- I take so much pride in seeing Judai push forward, past the fear and guilt he's carrying, all to save Johan... it's cathartic and I never get sick of watching it.

5Ds: sweats. still all of Crash Town, but also episodes 137-147-- the Ark Cradle is one of my favorite parts of 5Ds and one of my favorite YGO arcs period, and even though each duel is a fucking gut punch, I love the emotional intensity and weight in each episode... It hurts but in a mostly good way

Zexal: Episode 143: "The Aloof Duelist 'Nasch': The Destined Final Duel" -- this one hasn't changed! Still hurts, still love it, I still weep over Ryouga Shark Kamishiro on a daily basis

Arc-V: Episodes 81-82: "Our Respective Battlefields/The Ultimate Falcon VS The Black-Feathered Thunder" -- Okay, honestly, this was hard because I... genuinely. really don't like Arc-V very much at all lol (it's just not my cup of tea, but more power to those who do like it!), but I thought this duel was a lot of fun! Shun is my absolute favorite from Arc-V and I really like the friendship he struck up with Crow a lot, so here we are

VRAINS (so far): Episode 25-26: "Virus Deck Operation/Three Draws Leading to Hope" -- honestly I am so biased because I just really love Blue Angel and I loved seeing her get a well-deserved victory like this lol. I'm not done with VRAINS, so this is probably gonna change, but anytime Blue Angel or Soulburner are on screen, I'm happy

Favorite Decks to Use: Aromages will always have my heart, but I adore Cyber Angels too! I'm building my Trickstar deck, my Synchron/Stardust deck (just waiting on Dawn of Majesty...), and my Magician Girls deck, too! Fusion, Ritual, Synchro, XYZ, Pendulum, or Link?: Synchros my beloved... but also Ritual Years in fandom: I've been here for just a little over one year now! and I wuv it... I'm never looking back Who am I tagging: no one I'm too shy

[agentmanatee]

AOS 30 Day Challenge

Since I'm late to the party, I will be using this post to catch up.

Day 1: Favorite Season: S4 had the tightest story-telling with the pod structure. For a 22 episode season not to have a filler episode is quite a feat. Aida/Ophelia/Madame Hydra is my favorite Marvel - not just AOS - villian. Mallory Hansen's ability to play 4 different characters in one season in one show (sometimes multiple characters in the same scene) should have won her an Emmy hands-down. All of the cast should have won Emmy's for the performance in Self-Control (Everybody was on their A-game). My love for Robbie Reyes knows no bounds, and Gabriel Luna has mad chemistry with everyone (I pretty much ship Robbie with everybody he's not related to).

Day 3: Favorite story-line: Maveth. When I told my niece the story of FitzSimmons, she declared it "too much!" when I got to Maveth, specifically Hive and we stopped there. In a lot of ways it was the writers dipping their toes in adding more focus to Fitz and Simmons, who are portrayed by the show's strongest actors. I know a lot of people don't like the Will Daniels twist, but other than some hand-waveable plot holes, it really wasn't that bad. It was literally a "only two people on a planet" situation, and they thought that they would never see another human being again and that they were effectively dead to anyone on Earth; so their actions were understandable. Jemma didn't show interest in Will until she gave up seeing Fitz again, and Will initially did not act on his attraction because he respected and even appreciated Jemma's feelings for Fitz; he knew - even if Jemma didn't - that if given the opportunity to choose she would ultimately choose to Fitz ("No wonder Jemma loves you" was Hive channeling Will). If he survived and wasn't a villain I would ship him with either Joey or FitzSimmons (Fitz is canonically bi, Jemma deserves all the love, and the way Will talked about Fitz could be interpreted as romantic interest. He couldn't help falling for Fitz with the way Jemma talked about him), but I never submit prompt requests because I know how people feel about the character.

Also the planet of Maveth was a character unto itself, which is so cool. I really want to know what the light under its surface is; I don't but that it was a only heat source. Since sandstorms turned out not to be one of Hive's powers, Maveth or the cloaked figure (the personification of the planet a la Ego?) Jemma saw had to be the source of those. I suspect the civilization they saw evidence of were tied to the Confederation in season 5. Did they try to settle down and it backfired due to their culture? It very likely was how they knew there were Hydra leaders on Earth for them to manipulate. Will they ever confirm this? Doubtful. Finally, the mystery of Hive and what he was worked and exceeded expectations (his power set of terrifying!).

Day 2: Favorite episode: Inescapable. I was so excited for this episode I paid for it because Hulu was taking its time posting the episode. Of course a FitzSimmons episode would be amazing. The mind prison forced FitzSimmons to deal with issues they've avoided and together to boot. Seeing the turning point in their friendship at the academy and Coulson Recruiting them prior to season 1 was a hoot. I love how they revealed the other Fitz's death to him; he needed to see how the team mourned for him, to understand how much they loved him. Of course the whole scene was painful from him opening the bodybag to seeing the wedding ring to learning of Coulson's passing, but it was necessary and reflected how everything happens at once irl. Seeing their trust and loyalty in their bffs was heartening. And there is no doubt how much they are meant for eachother than when their darksides fall for and on eachother. They certainly learned some things there.

Honorable mention to Self-Control. That was the first episode I have ever purchased. It felt like a movie, and the story is insulated enough I think I may suggest it as the episode to watch when trying to get people to watch the show (either this or Orientation). The entire episode was so gripping I held a pillow to my chest the whole time once it was revealed that either Jemma or Fitz was an LMD. It was such a good Daisy and Jemma episode team-up and jump-started a whole arc of them supporting eachother. It was also a phenomenal Daisy episode. She showcased her powers, and Chloe knocked it out of the park. The scenes between May and Coulson's LMD-selves were so very moving. Ming did such a good job of portraying how May's LMD differed from the others. The episode also revealed what Fitz and Coulson would change if given a choice (not that AIDA gave Fitz such courtesy).

I just realized I switched Days 2 and 3, but don't want to bother with copying/pasting on my phone

Day 4: Favorite male character: Leopold James Fitz. Fitz was my favorite early on and hands-down my favorite character after FZZT. I saw myself in his mannerisms and could relate to his hesitancy to throw himself in the field but doing so because it is the right thing to do. His passion and loyalty to his friends is unparalleled. I also wanted to give Ward a chance. And it's interesting that Fitz was the first of the bus kids to understand how "No one is born evil." It took the Framework arc for Daisy to really understand that. He even has a leg up on Mack here since Mack's first instinct with anything alien is to kill it ("I'm the guy that kills Gordon" is not something someone who values all life, whether he views it as human or not.), which is understandable given his experiences. Fitz was the first person to show Daisy acceptance after terrigenesis, even if he was mistaken to hide it. I didn't realize it the time season 2 aired, but I get a similar aphasia during migraines (it's actually the first and last symptom when it happens). Seeing any appearance by the Doctor makes me feel sick to my stomach because I know how frightened and sick Fitz feels to have that as a part of himself. Fitz loves with his whole heart and he is always driven to do what he believes is the right thing, which is unfortunately what made the Doctor such a formidable villian. He also is always willing to give second chances but not third. He was the first person to joke around with Daisy after the Miles fiasco: he forgave Mack and Bobbi for the real Shield thing; he accepted Daisy back into the fold in seasons 2 & 4 despite how much her abandoning the team felt like betrayal; he formed a father-son relationship with Radcliffe after what he did for Hive; he trusted and befriended Enoch, knowing he kidnapped and sent his closest friends to a freakin future hellscape. Fitz is such a good person. Of course, all my love for Fitz doesn't mean I don't love the rest of Shield's men + Robbie Reyes.

Day 5: Favorite female character: Jemma Anne Simmons. Jemma is a close second for all around favorite (I just don't relate to her as much as Fitz). On a superficial note, Elizabeth Henstridge is so beautiful and hilarious, I have a giant girl crush on her (her smile is dang radiant). I love how they flipped gender stereotypes by making Fitz the emotional one who wears his heart on his sleeve and Jemma the practical one, who shoves her feelings in a box rather than express them. Jemma's cockiness is more real than Fitz's cocky front, too. I wish I had her confidence. Jemma also loves with her whole heart, as much as she has to hide it to function sometimes, and does what she believes is the right thing. She even revealed herself in the future dystopia because she could not stand aside when a stranger was hurt and she knew how to help/save him. Jemma jumped out of the Bus to save her team and jumped at a grenade to help them not thinking she would survive either occasion. She blamed Lash's murdering of inhumans on herself as she has the tendency to hold herself accountable for things that aren't her fault (she shares this trait with both Fitz and Daisy). She doesn't get lost exploring the details within the big picture, which is why she's so good at problem solving. She learned to kickass physically and has always done so mentally. She knows how to let her foes know to fear her. She has the self-awareness to know what traits she needs to work on to complete any mission. She does and would do anything for her team. She's also an incredible leader whether in the field, in the lab, or for the entirety of Shield. She is incredible.

Daisy Johnson is a very close second. And I can't rank May, Bobbi, and Elena. I also have girl crushes on all four of these ladies.

Day 6: Favorite relationship: S3 Shield Team (Coulson, May, Daisy, Fitz, Simmons, Mack, Bobbi, Hunter, Yoyo, Joey, Lincoln and Andrew). OK so I cheated here; we didn't even see everyone be in the same episode. So what? Season 3 had some of the best dynamics from the main team to Daisy's Secret Warriors it's no wonder people love season 3 so much. How can I pick just one? You have Coulson interacting with everyone (except for Joey), Lincoln's fear of May, Her mentorship of him, Fitz and Bobbi, Fitz and Hunter, FITZSIMMONS, Jemma and Andrew, Daisy and Mack, Mack and Huntingbird, MACKELENA, Doug, Fitz meeting his dad Holden Radcliffe, Radcliffe and Hive's "children"...Now I'm getting into characters that weren't on a Shield team. The characters and their relationships with eachother is what this show does best and what makes it such a good and beloved show, not the action or plot twists.

[voidvoyeur]

ok i did the dbd relationship chart ... and may have got carried away 😤😤😤

HERE’S A LINK TO LARGER VERSION!  for the record i see a lot of the survivors as friends anyway, considering what they go through  and shared trauma etc. but the lines i did were who i see would get along the most 

OFC RPING MICHAEL he has the most associations bc i think about how he interacts w/ others the most and much of which have been inevitably influenced by ppl i’ve plotted & written with. for any other characters is just my personal view !!

 a lot are self-explanatory but the ‘friend’ definition to him is basically interest in stalking observing certain muses, and whether they let him / ignore him (indicated by blue line on their side) or actively tell him to fuck off (indicated by white line of HATE ).

im shallow and ship michael / rin bc of these fanarts hrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr 

hatred towards kenneth is bc of incrediby high expectations michael has (a clown !! ) but kenneth just wheezes and coughs all the time smh a simp

he’s p indifferent towards ghost face , i wouldnt say HATE but he can get v irritated by danny bc he annoys michael for the hell of it and theyre basically

LEGION IS A WHOLE FUCKIN DRAMA .. i 100% respect ppl have their own interpretations but my personal truth is that julie fell for frank bc he knew full well how to appeal to her insecurities .. meanwhile susie can see right thru him and HATES him like any girl whose bff’s boyf is shitty ..  it’s a whole Glad He’s Gone - Tove Lo mp3 sitch .. julie eventually gets sick of being in the fog and how she never wanted this life !! so she and susie become survivor gfs OKAY !!!!! meanwhile joey just watchin all this like .... ok the fuck

oni only respects rin bc they family but rin hates him bc he cursed her lineage !!!! REEEEEEEE

dont @ me about ghost face and kate ok i imagine he makes a lot of Musique references for her and she gets so annoyed at herself for finding them funny... he gives her hatch bc she always has a retort and she will cling to whatever illusion of control she can get !!! BASICALLY

meg/claudette seem like they would balance each other out SO well .. meg being confident and impulsive and claudette being shy and careful .. meg stops claudette from overthinking and claudette calms down meg when shes stressed / angery .. TENDERNESS

theres so much going on in the chart i wont spam about it all but if anyone wants elaboration on a specific relationship i will be happy to provide !!

[her-kaleidescope-eyes]

Thoughts while watching Act 1 of Starship for the first time in a while

ACT 1

-The Future is Now!! (I've been saying that for years in that voice and I forgot where it came from,, I literally said it TODAY))

-I forgot it started with this video!

-AJ HolMES hAS thaT CAMeo

-joey had that haircut at one time

-lmaO the character's name is literally BUG

-this set is so complex compared to every other show wtf

-what was the budget for this

-oh yeah this was an "alien" wreck

-"I DON'T HAVE A JOB"

-don’t forget that dirt is solid and clouds can disappear

-the bug that ruins your picnic is a job lmao

-aww the mammals

-Julia's characters are so fuckin annoying no wonder she does reiki now

-aww buggette

-"you oughta make nectar cause you're so sweet!"

-ugh what a date I love tearing off a head and letting my larvae devour his body

-Veeto, Neato, and Sweetheart how iconic

-JaIMe lYN BeATty is probably the funniest person alive

-I remember thinking lauren had cut and dyed her hair when she had her hood on as Buggette lmao

-Nick Lang is so soft I love

-the overqueen is less(???) vaginal than I remember

-the overqueen and sorting hat are bffs

-"FLATTERY WILL GET YOU EVERYWHERE" I've also been saying this for years

-"quiet you, you're drunk" "NO IM DRUNK"

-I love Denise Donovan

-oxie-gen

-shyence

-I think I just heard a spooky noise

-the mammals are so cute I love them all

-"HOLY SHIT IT’S A BUG"

-the puppets what was the BUDGET

-"get your zappers, set them to pew!"

-TOOTSIE NOODLES OWNS MY HEART

-"I saw the empirical proof that science killed God" what the FUCK

-dylan I love you so much ALSO "the way I do" in the background of him explaining his name I love it

-JoMo is so great

-"He's got bear hands? Oh wow"

-the record scratch lmao who did that ?????? I don’t remember that

-he eats eagles for breakfast

-"unfudge yourself" I was the the national guard and unfuck yourself is 100% a thing they say

-Taz stabbing herself

-I DO NOT PEEPEE SITTING DOWN

-Up's whole breakdown is so funny lmao I love him so much I love every character in this goddamn show

-you're not a failure, overall

-I wanted to fuck Junior so bad when I was 13

-MEREDITH

-I really didn't like meredith at first because I was dumb and idn't like her because she was a "newcomer" but now I've been a dedicated fan of her for eight years so there you go

-ALL HAIL ASTROBOy

-"a horse ate my cousin!"

-lauren lopez was my bisexual awakening

-"hunior"

-were brian and meredith dating already? Hmmm

-act one is fucking LONG AS SHIT bug hasn't even become a human yet

-calculus was tough

-GET BACK UP IS A BOP

-what is spec's gender?

-I had completely forgotten Nick was even in this show

-why did the beginning of Life just make me cry

-darren did a great job, I find his writing a little heavy sometimes but starship is a1

-February, like the month but a person

-"A slut--no wait a dumb slut!"

-IM GOING TO SHOOT THIS METAL BITCH

-the way I do playing under tootsie talking about megagirl again

-"you can't fool me with numbers"

-I once had a flirtatious relationship with a stack of hay

-hideous creatures exists

-musicals are so long

[irina-something]

Roswell NM and the hateful trope - the love triangle

This is angrily written and with lots of sarcasm and profanity... and it might not make sense...

Have I ever written anything original or in any way important? No. Have I ever been creative in any way? Again no. Do I have a shit load of opinions about the written word….be that in books of fiction/non- fiction/scripts for tv series or movies? Hell, yes. Am I ashamed? Not really. I mean I said I have opinions….as I understand, you can have tons of these…as long as you don’t confound them with facts, it’s all good.

So, why am I angry as fuck right now?

Because I love ( heart and soul, even if one is a pump and the other does not exist) silly as shit tv genre series. Gimme all the beautiful people hunting ghosts, drinking blood, turning into werewolves or being in high school or collage….the whole shabang….but make it make sense too, damn it…write it lightheartedly but consistently….make up the rules of the universe and stick with them…..and gimme character development….and no, developing from 2 hot people who were not fucking to two people who now are fucking, does not count as a character arc.

Gimme all the tortured relationships but not in a love triangle kind of way. FFS!!! I grew up with Beverly Hills and I have been scarred for all eternity by Luke and Kelly screwing Brenda over….but I pulled myself together and watched Dawson’s Creek just to see how they kept not letting Pacey be with Joey and gave up after about 4 seasons because fuck them that’s why….and then I went through Gilmore girls just to see Dean’s character assassination because bad writing that’s why….and made it through about 3 seasons of Felicity - and I was  happy to see many of my own struggles in the student that gave up medical school and the struggle to find the meaning of friendships and figuring out her place in the world, but wondering why the fuck do we need the love trialge….is there no other kind of fucking drama that involves romance, in the world?

So after all of this and many more, I finally snapped…..yeap, I did it while watching the revival of Roswell……I mean, I suffered through the original too….but I had like 2 brain cells back then and somehow I digested about 2 seasons of will they, won’t they of Michael and Maria before giving up……And then the revival starts….And it is strangely not extremely teenagy…yey grownups…. And somehow among aliens and government conspiracies , the characters seem to be adulting somewhat believable….Max and Liz can not be together for serious reasons and end up together after they solve the main issues…. And damn, I am hopeful….

My favourite character from the original series, Michael, turns out not to have a love for the ages with Maria, as in OG series….no, Michael turns out to be bisexual in this one….I was a little taken aback because of the love for the OG relationships….but than the writers take 10 fucking episodes to show this cosmic (their fucking word) love between Michael and Alex…flashbacks, background info, confessions, epic make out sessions, hot sex scenes….and I am sold !!!

And than comes eps 11 ... and Michael and Maria have all these hidden feelings...and they manage to get those in like 3 minutes ... even if they had 10 years with no significant other and living in the same town.... but no, 10 years nothing happens and now BAAAM ... also why did they make Maria Alex’s bff? Just to fuck with her charater, that’s why.  

So just like that, screw character development, welcome out of character  behavior, fuck continuity, reason and logic and lets all embrace the trope of tropes – the fucking love triangle…..but you know, one for modern times, with a bisexual person not being able to decide between a girl and a boy, because we all know how they are, don’t we   - wtf???  And this is where I feel the fake wokeness, on the behalf of the writers comes in. Because they get the need for representation.... but they go for the most hurtful cliche.

And I am just there asking - why are writers so adverse to writing healthy, interesting relationships ? It's like their kriptonite. The begining is always great, but once they get there, it’s like they have no idea what to do so they immediately destroy it. Is it really nothing of interest in how people navigate a relationship?

There is such thing as outside drama.....seriously.... and even inside drama....there are charater flaws, there are incompatibilities even when people love eachother.....there is the terible thing when the love is real but not enough.....but no, lets just fuck someone else...every other episode.... and be epically in love with one this episode and with the other in the next episode....until the writers decide who should win this lovely war and than procede towards character asasination... Because what other way to end a love triangle? You just have to screw over one of the charaters with lazy, bad writing..

Because I do not have hopes for something like a love triangle that does not end because it might actually be an open functional relationship, or a poly one....

An who wants this? Who wants a love portrayed as epic to crumble in 3 minutes? I mean, what is the deal in all these shows? Aliens are real, werewolfes sexily roam the earth, vampires can have hard ons without a functional heart and a functional blood flow....but you know where we draw the line of stuff that is actually possible???   At an eduring relationship, with good writing.....because seriously, even make belive has limits....

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh S2 Ep 26-27: Marik Also Tries Mind-Crushing, Except Literal and With A Very Large Storage Unit

Ah, Yugioh, where two children are possessed by ghosts and two other children are possessed by just some guy named Marik.

He’s still pretty sure he has a plan. To be honest, at this point it just seems like he’s desperate, but I have to hand it to Marik, that he’s doing more than just relying on a spooky golden maraca thing he keeps in the side pocket of his cargo pants. Something that a lot of shows do really wrong with villains (pointing fingers directly at My Hero Academia while I’m typing this) is that they rely too much on their fancy looking superpowers to show they’re a bad guy. It’s fine to have super powers but you gotta back it up with making sure you’re throwing your heroes into a psychological nightmare--at least once.

At least once, MHA, it is Season 3. Please. You have such a huge budget and the best animators in the world. Please. I beg of you.

Yugioh, on the other hand is like...when WON’T we be in a psychological nightmare?

And so Marik has decided, after the bandsaw murder clown incident, the blown up skyscraper 100 story fall to your death incident, and the spooky mime incident, that he was ready to just really go to town on effed up villain stuff today. It’s time to pull all the stops. He’s got Yugi’s BFF’s all ready to turn on Yugi, he’s got an abandoned shipyard...for some reason...

All in all, as much as I rat on Marik, I very much appreciate that he didn’t monologue in some Mahjong bar for twelve episodes about all the reasons he wants to do evil stuff, he just goes out and does it. Let me rephrase, he just goes out and makes other people do it, but at least someone is doing something in every episode. Can’t say that about all the TV I watch.

You do have to hand it to him he never does the same plan twice.

(read more after the cut)

So, spotting Joey from afar, Kaiba lands his helicopter dangerously close to him, and just walks out unarmed, his smallest brother standing next to him. Mokuba is still taking everything in from last episode apparently and he’s just really confused most of the time as Joey starts going off about himself in the third person to Yugi.

And Seto decides to just watch? He doesn’t call for help, he doesn’t use his crazy amount of leverage, and he doesn’t do the smart thing which would be to run the hell away, he just kinda soaks this all in and has decided that he lives here now.

So, Marik, who can do a lot of the dark magic stuff Pegasus and Bakura have showed us, decides to instead go old school and forgo magic for most of this fight (other than some possession of course.)

Like I said before, if you’re gonna write a villain, they gotta get in your hero’s head a bit. It’s villain 101. Should it ever go as far as a Yugioh villain on kid’s TV? I mean proooobably not necessary? But something this episode does is show that a villain does not need superpowers. All they need, is to test your hero’s greatest insecurities to the breaking point, which is something Marik does really well, and surprisingly a lot of shows I don’t need to mention, because I already have, don’t do. They kinda rely on “well he’s got evil powers, so he’s evil and they punch a lot” while not understanding that it was never the powers that gives a show that tension that villains bring.

Like, Yugioh does a lot of things wrong, but surprisingly, they know how to write a clearly evil villain who’s just overheard that Yugi’s big thing is this bond of friendship--which is really childish--but he goes with it anyway. So he makes this bizarre Joker-like card game scenario that is based on breaking those friendship connections. But leave it to Yugioh to have something really pure in theory but in practice turn into this screwball nightmare. Yugioh is kind of like a really simple chocolate cake but there’s a tire on it and it’s on fire.

I will say, it is odd that Seto got dragged here into the friendship battle, as he is the worst friend. So now he also gets to go through friend torture with some school mates he occasionally has class with. TBH, I don’t think Seto has even realized yet that he has also been 100% abducted since the moment he walked off that helicopter. Seto lives in a nice denial place.

So lets go over Marik’s Big Plan #7.

First, off you gotta put on these shackles, seen here:

I feel like Shackles are this seasons Maze Labyrinth. I mean I guess Yugi’s shackled to his destiny? Or at least the destiny of the ghost he’s attached to? Anyway, so many shackles this season.

And then these shackles and chains are connected to Joey as well as this anchor we see here:

What nice symbolism to illustrate that Yugi’s friendship will drag everyone he knows along with him--as it has for the past 2 seasons. Not really a big spoiler for everyone involved in this battle.

And then this was a thing Marik added just for kicks, which can be symbolic, too, but I don’t feel like diving into it:

I actually never thought these two would actually cancel a game. Mokuba decided against blowing his whistle at it though, he decided it was probably too late for that. Aaaaaand it was:

Yo, how do you sneak up on people with a 70 ft crane?

Honestly I was surprised that Seto cared enough about Tea to not move, but I guess he couldn’t kill Tea in front of Mokuba. And I dunno, Seto and Tea never really talk to eachother, so I guess I’ve never noticed that he thinks she’s decent enough to continue existing. He might like her better than anyone else on this show other than Mokuba. And I’m not saying that to ship them, although I’m sure it’s a fine ship sailing around out there, I’m just saying that it is notable when Kaiba accepts that someone else besides a Kaiba deserves to live.

And then one last touch:

I guess no one told Marik that Tea and Yugi aren’t actually dating? I mean how much would it suck to go on one date with a guy and then all of a sudden you’re dealing with all of his villains?

Accurate, actually, that is exactly how dating works. You go one date and then you casually run into him in an elevator and then all of a sudden he’s like “So my ex fiance took me to court over the engagement ring and it’s so unfair that I can’t get that money back when she’s gonna marry this other guy she’s only known for a month anyway.” and it’s like “You were engaged?”

But, for his credit, 2 weeks later I needed a date, called him up, and he was like “Sorry, I’m in the hospital because I got an ulcer removed because apparently there’s too much stress in my life pulling these allnighters for my classes, and my car died and it’s gonna cost 2k to fix it, and then my ex fiance visited me in the hospital which was hella weird because my Dad is here. Anyway I got a tube down my pee hole and it was the worst pain I’ve felt in my life including the ulcer they removed from my gut. But I dunno. When’s the date?” and I just assumed he was pranking me but turns out, the next day, my teacher confirmed the kid was in the hospital and as high as balls.

Anyway, Pharaoh isn’t the worst person in the world to date, I guess.

It’s nice that Yugi was able to find all of his accessories in blue leather and silver rivets.

The duel begins, everyone cries, except for Tea who’s just screaming from the sidelines that Joey needs to remember how much he loves Yugi. She reminds him to think of the experiences they’ve shared and it was like oh boy maybe skip the part where you bullied Yugi to to hell and then he got cursed with a ghost that lives in his body.

TBH, I feel like it would be bad to introduce Serenity to the fray? Like if I were Marik I’d be like “woah get Joey’s sister out of here, that’s gonna snap him out of it.” but it’s not like Marik gets the whole family love thing anyway, living with Ishizu.

In case you were wondering, yes Mokuba actually tried to explain to Tea what was going on, so the show went over what the hell was going on I want to say like 3 times. Which is something you kinda have to do when you’ve turned your card game into Mousetrap.

And so this is where the episode ended, and I was capping along and felt like this could be a two parter post for this weekend, so why not? Lets continue.

Ah, and it starts out with Marik on a boat.

That boat gets mysteriously bigger and bigger every time it shows up. How many Rare Hunters are there? Like 10? And do they have to rent an apartment on this boat, like how does this all work? And if they do rent an apartment on the boat, who’s cooking? Like Marik, obviously is not a cook since he’s a living disaster, but I want to know more about boat life. Did Bandit Keith ever make them a crunchwrap supreme? Is one of the Rare Hunters always playing Wonderwall? Do they tan on the bow? Why would this boat ever need to be this big?

And I know this isn’t any of the Yugioh spinoff shows, but if I were to write one it would absolutely be Marik’s Boat Life. That would be the name.

Anyway, Yugi decides to fly over Pharaoh’s shoulder like a little angel. It’s been kind of a while.

So like it’s foreshadowed pretty strongly that Yugi’s decided “why even bother, Pharaoh, we don’t need your card talent today. At least my life will end as I lived, short and very awkward”

On the other side of town, Tristan has to go up a group of these Rare Hunters, and from everything we know about Tristan, this shouldn’t be so difficult? Like he punched out Bakura and threw Double Spike Mullet over his shoulder at one point, but unfortunately, punches don’t seem to work. But do you know what does?

I completely forgot Duke Devlin was a character in this show. Surprised he’s not in this competition, but apparently his game he’s making alongside Pegasus is really panning out--which is kind of effed up because Pegasus is a murderer. But youknow...I guess that everyone in the show decided to overlook that?

Whatever, I spent an entire episode trying to understand that, lets get back to the friendship plot line. Yugi decided to play a card that lets Joey take a card from Yugi’s hand, which gives him an opportunity to show Joey’s dragon. But will Joey overcome Marik and take this very good card to use on Yugi? (bro just corrected me and told me this card is actually not good but wtv)

He takes a different card. Friendship triumphs over...this card that I should know more about but I don’t watch the card games so I’m just gonna wing it here.

And then Yugi plays it anyway, and the music swells and it’s meaningful again.

Because the Red Eyes is connected with his heart now. Not sure when that happened exactly but it apparently happened at some point.

Seriously, when did this happen? I ask a lot of questions rhetorically but feel free to answer that one. Did I miss something? S1 this card was just kinda there.

Pharaoh, sensing that Yugi has very well lost his mind and will be absolutely hit by a fireball, decides to take over. Remember that the last time Yugi got hit with a fireball, he passed out pretty much before it hit him. And then he died. Yugi died last time a fireball hit him (I’m pretty sure that was a fireball in the Pegasus fight? It feels like years ago). Mind, that was a shadow duel, but apparently that doesn't matter this season because all the cards are real and no one cares that this is a very big problem.

Pharaohs legs are either three times the size of his torso OR they’re wearing extremely high waisted pants. Both scenarios are good.

And he gets hit in the face with a fireball.

And doesn’t pass out. Good for him. He is about 15% alive though, Yugi is basically going to die if he gets hit with another fireball. Like his lifepoints still say 1000 but it takes him like ten minutes to walk all the way around this pier and give Joey this:

Luckily, Marik as Joey plays cards so slowly, that the ten minute walk was still shorter than a single turn in Yugioh.

Also this is a thing? Just anyone can put that on?

so this whole time anyone could have been wearing the ring to Mordor? Just anyone? OK then.

Anyway, next week, on Yugioh:

Does Marik have any lag on that superpower of his, because I feel like it would make this show make some more sense on his part? Did the mime just walk home? If they all did die this way--not saying the will or won’t because they’ve died so many times now, but if they DID--weirdest way to die, amiright?

And if you’ve stumbled onto this blog which is halfway through S2, let me direct you to this handy link, which gives you all the recaps in chronological order from S1

[greed-the-dorkalicious]

What I assume Yugioh is about based on having seen like less than 20 episodes of it

Because I used to do this every time I started reading a new Jojo part, just to see how much I got right and how much I got wrong. I don’t think anything will ever top “Rohan Kishibe is a high schooler who draws Chris Hart-esque anime art and thinks he’s a pro mangaka and his stand, Killer Queens, is made of bees, but maybe this will at least be slightly amusing. (Also I know it’s kinda late for this but listen, they still haven’t even gotten to Yami’s backstory, I still have genuinely no fucking clue what the actual overall plot of Yugioh is)

Anyway so here are the characters

Yuugi Mutotutotototuto

No for real tho is it Moto or Mutou someone explain this to me please

Looks like he’s 10 but is actually 15 and very short, which is relatable

Sunshine goth

MY SON NOW.

So fucking nice and good and loves his friends

I think uh... I think he’s like mixed race and that’s why his hair is like that? Not that that makes literally any sense whatsoever but I feel like I remember someone saying something like that

I think he’s like the reincarnation of an ancient pharaoh, or maybe just his great-great-great-great-great-great-great-whatever-grandson

Was able to solve the Millennium Puzzle because of this and also probably because he’s good at games idk

The pure-hearted chosen one who can win every battle even if he’s at a disadvantage because he Believes in the Heart of the Cards. Still don’t know what the fuck that even means but I support him so much

Just a perfect boy

I’m willing to bet a large portion of the fandom thinks he’s a boring protagonist. I say this entirely based on the fact that he is a genuinely nice and optimistic person and god knows fandoms can’t handle characters who aren’t assholes

If you talk shit about Yugi I will show up at your house and eat all of your Yugioh cards. This is non-negotiable

Yami Yugi

The ghost of a pharaoh who was just Really Good At Games and maybe some sort of god or something idk. But I guess maybe he has amnesia?

His real name is Atem but nobody calls him that

Also my son now I love him so much I would die for him thanks

Anyway he lives in the Millennium Puzzle and occasionally possesses Yugi’s body and SOMEHOW this completely changes Yugi’s eye shape, makes his hair even MORE complicated and also makes him taller.

A fucking sadistic bitch

But like a good one though. Like I think he’s a good guy, he just needs to learn to Chill The Fuck Out For Once In His Goddamn Life. It’s ok though Yugi will teach him about the power of friendship and then it’ll be fine

Apparently kills people in the manga, which I guess would make him my legally allotted one (1) irredeemable murderboy I’m allowed to stan

Died tragically and violently after he... uh... he uh... he got framed for cheating at go? Anyway so that’s why his ghost lives in the Millennium Puzzle because I guess maybe he wants revenge or something??

In the most bizarre anti-bullying aesop I have EVER seen, whenever someone wrongs Yuugi or his friends Yami will show up and completely fucking eviscerate them

Just loves games so much, doesn’t matter what game it is or who he’s playing with or why, he will play any game anywhere anytime and will probably send someone into a coma in the process

In conclusion I’d die for him thanks for coming to my TED talk

Seto Kaiba

The antagonist, I guess

Had green hair but then they took it away. Why did they do that

Very mean, I do not like him. I guess he probably has a tragic backstory and Is Actually A Nice Guy Deep Down™ but I still don’t like him

Like a bazillionaire because he owns Kaibacorp. I have no idea what they do. Maybe they manufacture duel disks? Which are like these things you wear on your arm so you can put cards on it. Like a little table for your arm. I don’t know why this is necessary or special but everyone has one

Obsessed with Yami because he is So Good At Games that Kaiba thinks he’s his true rival or some shit idek

Technically could be compared to Akira Touya but I don’t want to because Akira is a very nice and good boy and Kaiba is at best an Ochi

Joey Jounouchi

Yugi’s bff and for some reason the only one of the Crewgi I ever hear anything about so I’m just going to assume this means he is plot relevant somehow

He is the delinquent who picks up stray kittens in the rain

Looks like an asshole but actually a decent dude

Has the exact same fucking backstory as Dio Brando, but like, isn’t an absolute garbage boy, unlike Dio

Was in a gang when he was a kid, a gang with yo-yos. Except in the manga it wasn’t yo-yos, I forgot what it was. Knives? Or maybe hockey sticks? Maybe hockey sticks with knives taped to them??

Trying his best

Chadhotep

That isn’t his real name. I forgot what his real name is. I tried really hard to remember it but I couldn’t so now his name is Chadhotep

An Egyptian priest, not sure if he’s somebody’s reincarnation or immortal or a time traveler or just a regular guy who has Been Doing This For Generations

Has the Millennium Key, which presumably goes to the Millennium Lock and grants the user the power of fucking Shugo Chara whatever

Not really sure who’s side he’s on tbh

I feel like... he’s what Avdol could have been if Araki had gone more for the “badass pyromancer Egyptian fortune teller” thing like he had in chapter 1 instead of him being a constantly distressed mom friend. Not that this is a criticism of Avdol!! I love Avdol so much, he’s perfect, however I feel like Chadhotep could be like... an alternate Avdol I guess

I think he’s like Knuckles but instead of guarding the Master Emerald he guards the Millennium Items?

Haven’t actually seen him in like 10 episodes since Yami like... fuckin... imprisoned him in his mind palace for all eternity or some shit, is he ok?

Mokona Modoki

Kaiba’s little brother?????????

How

I guess he has like an Emporio Alniño thing going on?

Why is he here. He’s a child. Tell him to go home

I bet he’s supposed to be like 5 and speaks like a 15 year old because nobody knows how to write kids. That or he only looks like he’s 5 and is actually like 14

I don’t know anything about him but Kaiba is a bad role model

Thief King Bakura

I don’t actually know much about this guy because he hasn’t showed up yet but I think he’s the other antagonist?

Presumably the ghost of Yami’s ancient political rival, lives in the... what even is that. The fucking like. The Millennium Tambourine I guess

You know in Death Note when it’s revealed that there’s a whole orphanage full of L clones training to become the next Batman or whatever? He looks like he escaped from there

Presumably wants to steal all the Millennium Items so he can summon Shenron or vore god or some shit. I don’t actually know what all the others are but I’m going to assume there are 7 in total because that’s how magic item sets in anime work

Ok I know I made a Knuckles joke already but this dude legit looks more like a Sonic character than absolutely anyone else so far

And that’s everything I know about Yugioh, thanks. In case it isn’t obvious I took benadryl today and I haven’t been more than 60% awake since then

[actuallylorelaigilmore]

A - Z (Fandom ‘Come At Me, Friend’ Meme)

WELL THEN *cracks knuckles* HERE WE GO 

(all 26 letters behind a cut bc this is very long)

A - Your current OTP(s)/OT3(s)/OTX(s)

As of this hour, my top OTPs are Penelope/Schneider from ODAAT and Joyce/Hopper from Stranger Things. But I have endless numbers of them, even within each fandom.

B - A pairing you initially didn’t consider but someone changed your mind

Jean/Alice from TDBM. 

C - A ship you have never liked and probably never will (be nice)

Um…hmm. I’m such a multishipper, I don’t spend a lot of time thinking about my NOTPs. I’ve never been onboard the Keens from The Blacklist, though. Not even a little. I only enjoyed Tom in his original villainous state.

D - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t (again: be nice)

A couple of my spouse’s faves, I really wish I liked too, especially Sam/Josh and Mal/Simon. I don’t like one of the characters in each very much, so I’ve never been able to get into them–even though I understand them, and have had fun writing them…I just don’t love them too.

E - Have you added anything cracky/hilarious to your fandom, if so, what

Yeah, mostly graphics, though. I don’t think I’ve ever written crackfic. I did New York Times Minus Content edits for TDBM, a ton of those. Also Sext Message Error sets for Lizzington and for Josh/Donna. And Welcome To Nightvale sets for iZombie and Lizzington. And OTP Bot sets for Lizzington.

And this isn’t EXACTLY crack, but my original tumblr claim to fame was this Hamilton/TWW crossover that got reblogged by Lin himself.

F - What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom

Mm, the first time I actively joined a fandom was Buffy, and I was about 14 when that started for me…so as of this year I’ll have been in that fandom for 20 years! But I’ve been a fangirl literally my whole life, I just didn’t really join fandoms before the internet, and I started using the internet more in junior high and HS.

G - Do you remember your first OTP, if so who was in it

Lou/Joey from Brotherly Love, or Claire/Trevor from Cupid (original run), or Dharma and Greg, or Allison/Wade from CryBaby, or Idgie/Ruth from Fried Green Tomatoes. I was a shipping prodigy, and the couples I was obsessed with as a literal child blur together a bit in the timeline, so I’m not completely sure which came first.

H - What is your favorite source text for fandom stuff (e.g., tv shows, movies, books, anime, Western animation, etc.) 

TV shows.

I - Has tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why

The Aaron Tveit fandom made me uncomfortable watching BrainDead before I even had the chance to decide if I liked it or not. Most fandoms I love, though. I prefer to ignore the drama and focus on the people I actually like. 

J - Name a fandom you didn’t care/think about until you saw it all over tumblr

SO MANY. Parks and Rec, TDBM, Stranger Things…a significant portion of my watchlist comes from this hellsite by now–I have friends with good taste.

K -Say something nice about someone in any of your fandoms

@mossdonnatella is in a lot of my fandoms. She is a much better fic writer than she thinks she is!!

L - Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves (chars you’re neutral on are fair game, as are chars you dislike)

I really ended up disliking Jacob a lot, on Grace and Frankie. But I will say that in the beginning he is very respectful of Frankie’s boundaries and tries to be patient with her, and I did like that.

M - Say something genuinely nice about a ship that you don’t ship (or its shippers, or anything related to you)

I don’t actively ship Jancy on Stranger Things after seeing S1 (I don’t really ship Steve/Nancy either, though…I think I mostly just ship Nancy x happiness) but the moment when her mom knocks on her bedroom door and they reach for each others’ hands instinctively? That is a damn fine understated sweet connection moment and I really enjoyed and believed it.

N - Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice)

Okay since a lot of my top fandoms are for shows that ended a long time ago, I’m going with One Day At A Time. In fic or in canon, I want to see a lot more of Schneider being Penelope’s BFF and her confidant. I want more serious!Schneider moments bc it turns out the actor rocks at them, and I want to see Pen really get to move on from Victor as her kids get older, I want real confirmation that she’s finally past any possibility of reconciliation with him bc she deserves SO MUCH BETTER.

O - Choose a song at random, which ship or character does it remind you of

Randomizing my music gave me “Quiet” by MiLCK feat. GW Sirens and Capital Blend. 

Sample lyrics:

Cuz no one knows me, no one ever willIf I don’t say something, take that dry blue pillThey may see a monster, they may run awayBut I have to do thisI can’t keep quiet, no A one woman riot

Despite the mature meaning behind the lyrics, and probably because I’m watching Stranger Things right now, it reminds me of Eleven, the tiny badass fighting her way to freedom.

P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas)

Alright, I’m gonna invent one right off the top of my head right here and now since you asked. Um… a One Day At A Time AU in which Penelope meets Schneider not as her landlord but as a patient, once she becomes an NP. Doctor/patient “okay if you won’t stop asking me out then get a new doctor so I can say yes” fluff ensues.

Q - A ship you’ve abandoned and why

Lizzington. I’m technically still writing fic for it bc I have a chapter fic to finish, but I haven’t watched the show in years, I avoid content for it, and have no interest in it anymore besides the phantom limb feeling of having been so invested in a ship for that long and making friends around it.

R - A pairing you ship that you don’t think anyone else ships

Well, since I mentioned it earlier, I think I’m the only person ever to watch the scenes Bud and Brianna have together in Grace and Frankie and think “that should really be a thing.” 

Also…Kate/Donna from The West Wing. Based entirely on one scene.

S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon (prompts optional but encouraged)

I genuinely don’t understand this question, sorry. What’s an ‘example’ of my headcanon, and how does that relate to prompts? If somebody wants to explain this to me, I’ll answer it. 

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending, about anything at all (gender identity, sexual or romantic orientation, extended family, sexual preferences like top/bottom/switch, relationship with poetry, seriously anything)

Yep yep yep. Andy was the leak, not Toby, and that is the hill I will die on always. I’m sure I have others, but that’s the big one.

U - 5 favorite characters from 5 different fandoms

Toby Ziegler (TWW), Alice Harvey (TDBM), Lorelai Gilmore (Gilmore Girls), Jim Hopper (Stranger Things), and Spencer Hastings (from what I just saw of PLL with @actuallylukedanes). 

V - 3 OTPs from 3 different fandoms

Luke/Lorelai, Gilmore Girls. Parker/Hardison/Eliot, Leverage. Joyce/Hopper, Stranger Things.

W - 5 favorite ships and 5 kinks you like best for said ships

Josh/Donna (TWW), Donna in control. Matthew/Alice (TDBM), hurt/comfort sex. Alvareider (ODAAT), “whoops are we kissing wait do we like each other?”Jared/Miss Parker (The Pretender), conflicted kisses up against wallsI’m having trouble thinking of a 5th one but I used to really like Lizzington angry!sex bc damn that ship was angsty

X - top 5-10 characters who are yoUR PRECIOUS BABIES AND YOU WILL DIE DEFENDING THEM

Eleven, Toby Ziegler, Schneider, Lena Luthor, Logan Echolls, literally every main character on The Good Place.

Y - What are your secondhand fandoms (fandoms you aren’t in personally but are tangentially familiar with because your friends/people on your dash are in them)

Game of Thrones, Agents of Shield, Doctor Who (though I finally have started this one!), Jane the Virgin, The Worst Witch, and lots more…I like learning about fandoms secondhand. 

Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go (prompts optional but encouraged)

Every single one of these tiny Stranger Things children in S1 is the epitome of epic friendship and I love it. Mike jumps off a cliff to protect Dustin and Dustin’s willing to get his teeth cut out to protect Mike and Lucas offers a sincere apology when he’s wrong, something most adults still suck at, and Will tells Mike the truth even when he would benefit from lying and Eleven chooses death to save them all and they are beautiful and perfect and I love them.

[aurimeanswind]

New Daze—Sunday Chats (12-31-17)

We made it. By whatever means, we got through 2017 and we survived. You and I. So uh, congrats!

That’s an achievement, right?

Happy New Year

I know, it’s probably not great to make light of how seriously bad 2017 was for some people especially and how difficult, politically, it’s been here in the US, but at the close, I want to celebrate the best parts of it. We can find maybe a bit of hope in that? 

And I was lucky. Lucky for all the wonderful people I got to share time, however brief, with in 2017. I think, of all the things that happened to me across 2017, personal achievement included, spending time with the folks I love and adore is easily the highlight. A few specific and great memories:

PAX East 2017

PAX East again.

Kinda Funny Live 3

KFL3 again

Visiting my bff in Austin.

ExtraLife 2017

Philadelphia with the Jon from the Bro-C.

Even this last week taking the trip to Philly to hangout with Jon Anderson was a special reminder of how important the people in my life are. I am so sad that Tyler Treese couldn’t end up making it, but I know the three of us Bro-C boys will get together sooner or later.

Much like Star Wars the Last Jedi, 2017 have been full of some spectacular moments in my personal life. And some not great stuff too. 😏 #HotTake

But I am appreciative to anyone who spent any time giving me the time in 2017 and hanging out with some dude like me. You’re the real MVP and you’re the most special one of all. Thank you <3.

In 2018, obviously I want us all to aspire to make the year better, not just for ourselves and for multimedia, but for each other. Try and doing something not for yourself at all. Not for the cookie points, not for your ego, not to feel good, but just to do it to make someone else feel good. Just do someone for someone else and don’t think about it. Hey, maybe if you did that for 1000 days, it’d just become a big habit or something like that. I dunno, that sounds crazy to be honest. ;)

I wanted to take a moment and say I’ve been working on a ton! Most of that is game of the year stuff which starts going out TOMORROW. And you all should excited! We got a ton of fantastic collaborators for it and I am really excited folks gave us the time of day to continue talking about some fantastic and excellent video games.

What’s on Tap:

I’ve actually been playing a ton of stuff, so I wanted to kind of separate it differently:

Switchmas

I got a ton of stuff on Switch, including Splatoon 2, Steamworld Dig 2, Steamworld Heist, Stardew Valley, and Blossom Tales.

A big standout has been Splatoon 2, which I fell for way harder this time than the first. Salmon Run is a fantastic mode that I didn't even really know was in the game.

I’ll also say I’ve been falling back in love with the Switch, and the portability of the console is just amazing.

The Steamworld games are excellent, Stardew is right at home on Switch, and I’ll have  preview of Blossom Tales coming at some point so I’ll talk about that more later.

Okami

This game is still fantastic and it’s super great to have it on PS4, and I may just buy it again on Xbox One at some point to play it in 4K.

Few imitators to the Zelda throne come close or, by any means, dethrone the champion, but Okami does all of that and more, and is a must play in my opinion. An eternal classic.

Questions

Last questions of 2017. No pressure right?

I talked about them above, and I really stand by those moments of coming together. But I definitely had some amazing gaming and music moments beyond that.

Overall though, ExtraLife 2017 was the best weekend of my life. Hands down. I hope I appreciated it enough in the moment, and I think I did.

That time Greg Miller walked into my house, saw you, and pulled out his phone and immediately started playing Africa by Toto.

Also, that moment we were listening to Africa in my car, as covered by Ninja Sex Party, and you told me you liked it and were almost lost in the song.

So there’s that.

Man. The Hulk’s dick haunts my mind just like it’s gonna haunt Thor’s.

not Kingdom Hearts 3not Kingdom Hearts 3not KingdomHearts 3

IbelieveIbelieveIbelieveIbelieve

Uh, anyway, Probably Shenmue 3 am I right?

I also don’t think Spider-Man OR Detroit OR Days Gone will come out in 2018. God of War for sure comes out, and of the three, I’d say Spider-Man is the most likely, but I have some extreme doubts.

I MISS YOU TOO JOEY.

My big thing that seems different for me than most, mostly because I seem to love it where most else hate it, but FUSE PERSONAS ALL THE TIME. I loved hitting a couple level threshold and capturing a bunch of Personas and seeing what I could make from it. That kind of stuff has never been great for me in games, but in Persona, it’s so fun, probably because it’s so easy.

I’d also say capture every Persona you can get, by extension of that. Anytime you see a new one, try and get it, just so it’ll be in your compendium.

I’d say try not to stress too much about doing “everything” you can in your first play through. Straight up: you won't. Much like with life, spend time doing things and hanging with the people you like, and don’t worry about stuff that doesn’t grab your attention.

AND. AND. On top of this, don’t sweat about Best Girl. Find the person you like the most and don’t stress to much about other folks’ opinions. :)

Happy New Year Amy! Well, tonight I ended up with some Maple Whiskey (which was great) and some beer, but my go to on New Years is Champagne Asti. It’s that good bubbly stuff.

I’m so sorry Nabeshin. Hang in there bud. Also like, go to a doctor! Please! <3

It was a good personal 2017 and also a terrible personal 2017. My depression was as draining and terrible as its ever been, if not more, and it pushed me really far this year, but I also started a medication that’s really helped me and felt a bit more confident about that and personal health than ever before.

Obviously other things speak for themselves. It’s why I didn’t emphasize the bad, because the good is so, so good, and so much better.

I think a lot more people know who I am and what IP is now than ever. We’ll see what the future holds.

One.

Kingdom Hearts 3.

Which hasn’t/doesn’t happen ever. 

But also, I want there to be a celebration of kindness. There were some terrible revelations this past year about nastiness, and I hope that over boil completely in the opposite direction. That people make penance for being shitty as a society as a whole, and everyone just is nice to each other. Especially men to women, because boy are there a bunch of fucking bad dudes out there. 

So go out there and do some nice stuff and make a difference. 

Sounds like a plan. ;)

Happy new year everyone. I hope you have a killer year. I love you all, and I’m excited to share what I’ve been working on, what I’ve been doing, and what the future holds with you all. I think we can make it a better year and make a better difference, just by starting with being better. To ourselves, and especially to each other.

I’d like to hope that I’ve surrounded myself with these amazing people because of some hope, some want to do goodness and to have fun with one another and to one another, and as corny as it sounds (you can blame tonight’s drinks) I want to continue sharing and proliferating that. Through podcasts, conversations, awkward direct eye contact, hella hugs, and of course:

video games.

Happy new year. And, btw,

keep it real. 

❤️

[thisdiscontentedwinter]

I wanted to applaud you for fighting the good fight against the whole Sterek fandom is racist argument and if I may, let me add one thing to this debate. What happened with Stiles and Sterek taking over fandom is not a new phenomenon and has nothing to do with race. Not to age myself but back in the 90s the same situation happened on a show on the WB called Dawson's Creek and in this case both actors were white and it even coined a term back then called being Paceyed. (1/4)

(2/4) In that show Pacey, the sarcastic funny sidekick (sound familiar?) became far more popular than Dawson, the emo generic lead. This was due to audiences relating more to Pacey and critics and the show recognizing the actor, Joshua Jackson, had more star power and potential than the lead. Fans shipped Pacey with the lead female Joey, a girl with a tragic past and trust issues (again sound familiar?) so much that the show actually changed direction and made them the main romance.

(¾) Which would have happened on TW is they had the guts to do Sterek. My point is that back then it was between two white actors and had nothing to do with race and it doesn’t on TW either. Posey could have been white and fans still would have flocked to Stiles and Sterek because whether Scott stans want to admit it or not Dylan had far more star power and potential and the audience, critics and most importantly the show runners saw that and used it. There is a reason 3b is the highest rated.

(4/4) There’s a reason ratings dropped after Stiles left. It didn’t matter who played Scott, no matter race, because Dylan had an “it” factor that was always going to overshadow and attract more fans and the Stiles ship people liked best would become the favorite i.e. Sterek. It’s about star power and Posey had the bad luck to be playing against a star in the making and compounded it by handling it badly and insulting the majority of the fandom which turned some Sterek fans off Scott entirely.

It happened there, it happened in Buffy (not the romance stuff or changing the direction of the show, obviously, but the fan fave being the BFF of the hero) … but when it happens in Teen Wolf where one character is portrayed by a POC, then the reason must be racism. 

And the thing is, we have the receipts to show that Sterek fans do not erase Scott, and that Sterek fans write more stories with the show’s POC characters than any other TW shippers. I actually had a response talking about things that fans can do to change those patterns, but received no response from that person when I linked to the receipts that showed Sterek fans were doing those things already. I have since received a response.

The thing is, the responders on that post were talking in general terms about terns across all fandoms, when the initial callout by Nyx and the Echo Chamber was about a specific fandom, with specific stats, and a specific history. A specific history where the actor who plays the main character is POC, but has also called Sterek shippers “bizarre, weird and twisted”. Sterek shippers owe Posey nothing at all. 

In PEW’s latest post he gives “advice” on how to write Sterek without erasing Scott. I read through everything and all I could think was, “Have these people even fucking read Sterek?” Because in the vast majority of Sterek fics I read, the Scott/Stiles friendship (whether irrevocably broken or not for narrative purposes) is the cornerstone of the entire story. 

I agree with everything you’ve said about the show, and about DOB’s star power. There’s usually a breakout star on any ensemble show, and it only takes that pilot episode to see exactly who it’s going to be on Teen Wolf. The guy who, you know, has since fronted a major franchise, and has just wrapped a movie that may be the start of another. Like it or not (and the Scott stans really don’t like it) but DOB is the better actor, and Hollywood has already noticed. 

[valencing]

hockey opus part two

dear @disarmd, it is i, your esteemed hockey bnf. last week, i started writing hockey fic based exclusively on your brilliant and inspiring primer/prompt post. as we discussed, any additional hockey knowledge would only interfere with my Art. for example, you wrote: 

this is connor mcdavid… he was like super extra special talented, got given Extraordinary status (like as an official designation) so that he could play with kids much older than him, and then they called him McJESUS and expected him to SAVE THE OILERS…so like you’re young and talented and everyone has crazy expectations like CRAZY and he’s like “okay, like i do want to be the best, but obviously that is a lot of pressure but it’s fine i’m… fine.” Saviour!! Pressure!! Try hard!! 

this is dylan strome. he’s like not that good in the face just if we’re being super honest, so i chose a picture where you can’t see his face…he was drafted the same year as connor and they played together on the OHL team SO THAT’S LIKE STEVE AND BUCKY, BASICALLY, aaaaand just like with Steve and Bucky, AND ON AN EQUALLY SERIOUS LEVEL, while Connor has gone on to do GREAT (like this year he has the most points scored of anyone in the whole entire league at this very moment), Dylan Strome was DRAFTED AND THEN SENT BACK DOWN TO THE AHL (like the minors) because he’s not a good enough skater and BASICALLY EQUAL TO BEING KIDNAPPED AND TORTURED BY HYDRA, THAT’S AN OBJECTIVE FACT…So Dylan is s u f f e r i n g...but like!!!! being surpassed by your bff. mAYBE A DARK SPIRAL? maybe someone needs to be saved. maybe it’s connor who crumbles under the pressure and needs to be saved!!! so many things!!!! 

which tells me all i need to know to write connor/dylan. here's the fic, in faithful accordance with your vision, not to mention content warnings for alcohol, depression, violence, and suicidal ideation. 

*

The first time Connor maybe saw Dylan again, he was in a cab on his way home from an afterparty. He'd started levitating a few inches off the ice halfway through the game and then scored literally hundreds of points. As a result, he'd had kind of a lot to drink at the party, which was why it seemed likely that Dylan wasn't really there.

Connor's cab was stopped at a light when he heard something outside in the street. It sounded like Dylan saying "There you are!" but in kind of a mean way. Dylan was his friend. His best friend. His––never mind. Connor would know that voice anywhere. But he hadn't heard it since that terrible day when he and Dylan were torn apart. When they took Dylan away. 

Filled with a sudden, desperate hope, Connor lowered the window and peered out into the darkness. Dylan was wearing a uniform Connor didn't recognize. He didn't look too friendly.

"NHL," snarled Dylan. "Oiler. Watch out."

"Dylan?" Connor didn't understand, but he stretched out a hand to his buddy anyway.

"I'll kill you," said Dylan. Then the light turned green and Connor, helplessly, left him behind.

*

"It wasn't him," said Connor's original character teammate Joey, when Connor told him what happened. "Come on, bro. Dylan's in the AHL now. We're never gonna see him again."

"You don't know that!" Connor said. "Sometimes people get out…I've heard stories."

"Santa Claus ain't real, pal," said Joey.  "Now listen…how many points are you gonna rack up tonight? One thousand? Two thousand?"

Being reminded of the game made Connor's heart sink. That was the problem with hockey. First you played a game, then they made you play another game. Sometimes weird shit happened on the ice, like the players on the other team would temporarily turn into swine or whatever, and people would go nuts as if Connor did it on purpose.

"What if I didn't score at all? What would happen then?" Connor tried to keep his voice steady.

Joey just laughed loudly and slapped him on the back. "Good thing we'll never know."

Connor closed his eyes. Only one person had ever seen him as a full person and not just a hockey saviour. "Oh, Dylan," he whispered. "I miss you."

*

"And the winner is CONnorrrrrr McDAAAAAAAvid," said the announcer after Connor scored the final goal of the game. "McDavid five THOUSAND points, Other Guys ZERO."

"Oilers five thousand points," called Connor, but the shouts in the arena were already drowning him out.

"CONNOR! CONNOR! CONNOR!"

"Oilers! Oilers! Oilers!" mumbled Connor, but it was no use. He skated slowly and extraordinarily over to his teammates.

"Nice work, McDavid," said Joey. "Guess we'll let you stay on the team for now. Haha!"

"Good move with the flock of doves," said Connor's coach. "That really got in their faces."

The doves had just randomly appeared, like all the other inexplicable crap that started happening after he and Dylan began playing for different teams. "That wasn't me," said Connor.

"You don't have to pretend around us," said Coach. "We know who you are."

"Who?" asked Connor, trying to follow.

Coach winked. "Let's just say we're all counting on you. Canada is counting on––"

The sound of machine gun fire cut him off. "Get down!" Connor yelled. He hurled himself on top of several of his teammates to protect them. The shots were coming closer and closer. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see black skates, clomping closer and closer, cracking the ice with every step. Connor looked up. It was––

"Dylan?"

"Shut up!" Dylan growled. He stamped down on the ice again and took aim.

"No, Dylan!" Connor yelled. "Shoot me first!"

A shot rang out, and Coach fell. Drops of blood hit the ice and froze. Connor crawled over to Coach. He was still breathing. Connor pressed his hand to what seemed like an unimpressive shoulder wound and looked up at Dylan. A mask obscured half his face. Dylan had always been a little insecure about his looks.

"You don't have to do this, bro!" Connor said.

"I do though," said Dylan. He whipped out a knife. But at that moment, there rose a mighty storm, and the wind blew Dylan back across the ice, and Dylan fell, because he wasn't a good enough skater, and then the wind lifted him up and bore him away.

"That wasn't me," said Connor immediately, because all his teammates were staring at him like what the fuck.

The medics were converging on them. Coach groaned softly.

Joey said, "Do we have to cancel tomorrow's game now? Justin Trudeau and Queen Elizabeth were gonna come."

Connor felt a stress headache coming on.

Coach grimaced as he was loaded onto the stretcher. "Gotta figure out what's going on. No game. We'll take a week off."

Connor's headache lifted. A week off! All of a sudden it felt like there was more oxygen in the arena. "Thanks, Dylan," he whispered gratefully. Then he saw how everyone was looking at him. "Sarcasm! I was being sarcastic."

"If that was your buddy, he's a goddamn psycho," Joey said. 

"Good point," Connor agreed. Dylan always did have his back.

*

During the investigation, no one had to go to hockey practice. Connor kept his phone off so he wouldn't have to talk to anyone. Once he tried to leave his house but when he looked up from the front porch, an airplane was skywriting WHAT WOULD MCJESUS DO overhead, so Connor decided to go back inside.

By the second day, Connor was getting worried about letting everyone down, so he went into his workout room to do his hockey exercises. Sooner or later the break would be over and he'd have to be in top form so no one would get mad at him. Just thinking about messing up on the ice made him feel sick to his stomach. It was almost a relief when Dylan crashed through the window, tackled him from behind, and rolled them over and over until they came to a stop by the treadmill with Dylan on top.

Connor reached up to pull at Dylan's mask. Dylan glared at him. "Oh, Dylan," said Connor. "To me you are beautiful."

Dylan let Connor pull the mask off. His face was gaunt. He looked like the ghost of the man Connor once knew.

"Bro…what have they done to you?"

"Everything," said Dylan hoarsely. 

"Was it the AHL?"

"Ssshh," said Dylan, looking from side to side as if someone else was listening. "I can't trust you. You're the target."

"I'm Connor!" said Connor. "Don't you know me?"

"I only know suffering," said Dylan. "That and death. Nothingness. The void." He looked searchingly into Connor's eyes.

Something about what Dylan was saying sounded appealing. "They don't play hockey in the void, do they?"

"No," Dylan growled. "They don't."

"Good," said Connor. "Take me there."

"What?"

"Deliver me," said Connor. "I'm ready." He smiled up at Dylan and waited for his final release. How lucky he was, to leave this terrible world. How grateful he was to go with Dylan's body pressed close to his.

Dylan raised his knife. At that moment a gentle breeze wafted the scent of flowers into the room, along with the sweet sound of distant harmonies. Dylan blinked down at Connor in confusion. The knife dropped from his hand. "Connor? Davo, is that you?"

"Duh," said Connor. "Of course it's me."

"Oh my god, Davo," babbled Dylan. "I dunno what I was doing. Did I hurt you?"

"No," said Connor sadly. It looked like he wasn't going to be murdered by his true love after all.

"I'm so sorry, bro. I'm gonna show you how sorry." And then Dylan's mouth was on Connor's, and it was almost everything Connor had ever wanted. Dylan kissed him desperately, touching him everywhere as if trying to make sure he was still whole. "I can't believe I almost destroyed your hockey career," he whispered. "I can't believe I almost ruined Canada."

"Not your fault," Connor muttered.

"Now you can still save the Oilers!" said Dylan. "Why are you crying?"

"I'm not crying," said Connor. "Everything is fine."

THE END

[mrmichaelchadler]

Father of the Year

The arrangement between Adam Sandler’s Happy Madison and Netflix keeps rolling, resulting in this week’s “Father of the Year,” the kind of quickie comedy project that was clearly conceived, executed, and released in an incredibly small window of time. It’s not as abrasively awful as the worst of Netflix/Madison projects (“The Ridiculous Six” still holds the standard) but it’s just forgettable. It’s akin to a bad sitcom you might catch on network TV on a Monday night. You’ll forget you saw it before it’s even over.

David Spade does what is basically a riff on his Joe Dirt character as a hard-drinking, not-too-bright guy named Wayne, father to a sweet kid named Ben (Joey Bragg). Ben has come home with his best buddy Larry (Matt Shively) and the two young men have one of those drunken conversations about whose dad would win in a fist fight. Larry’s dad Mardy (Nat Faxon) is the polar opposite of Wayne—the scientist who is so meek that he’s being bullied by his own 8-year-old. So it’s either the guy so dumb that he builds a makeshift pool in the flatbed of his neighbor’s truck or the one being owned by a third grader. When Wayne hears word that the guys think Mardy is the likely winner, he takes it as a personal affront and challenges the father of his son’s BFF to an actual fight. It doesn’t go well.

If you’re wondering how on Earth two dads maybe fighting each other could sustain the plot of a film, it doesn’t. There are other subplots, of course, including a potential relationship between Ben and a girl from his past named Meredith (Bridget Mendler) and the fact that the fracas between Wayne and Mardy might cost Ben his future. For the most part, however, the plot here is just one of those Happy Madison skeletons on which to hang bits such as Wayne and Ben participating in a weird local “Wife Race” and Mardy getting high and begging the dealer to take off his clothes (don’t ask…it’s a really weird scene, even for Happy Madison).

To be fair, there are a few funny moments scattered throughout “Father of the Year,” and some of the performers here are undeniably likable. The young actors, particularly Mendler and Shively, could easily work in better material, and I’ve always liked Faxon—the idea to contrast his more buttoned-up coming timing with Spade’s anything-for-a-joke aesthetic isn’t a bad one. It’s just that this is another one of those Happy Madison movies that doesn’t put any effort in after the clever idea. You can always picture someone saying, “Just put Faxon and Spade in the movie and it will write itself.” And that’s how you get to so many scenes that feel lazy and jokes that simply haven’t been punched up. Everything about “Father of the Year” feels like a first draft, first take, etc. It’s just too lazy to work. And yet people will probably watch it. Spade was on Howard Stern this week talking about how many people watched “The Do-Over,” and I hoped that perhaps this would be the Netflix/Madison project to finally work, the one that could make this whole collaboration worthwhile. That’s one of the reasons that I keep coming back to these movies (I’ve reviewed all five so far) and, believe it or not, I still hope every time that this one will finally be a diversion I can recommend to just get away from the real world for an hour or two. It’s not my fault they keep letting me down.

from All Content https://ift.tt/2uRfagv

[jaxxonpollux]

“why do i always pick people that don’t want to be with me?”

this is completely cliche. i know it, probably everybody knows it. it’s something you’d hear on an episode of Degrassi, or maybe occasionally on Full House. poor Uncle Joey, let’s give him a throwaway line to say to, i don’t know, Bob Saget or twin baby Michelle so that they can monologue something heartfelt over our staple sentimental TV show score. that’s like, our thing. or, let’s have this teenager guy say this to his lady bff so she has a reason to look sad and throw herself at him. something that would never happen irl except under desperate circumstances.

and i know why i said it too. not because i truly felt it, in all honesty. i mean, i did felt some semblance of rejection from a variety of people i had spoken to or heard from or looked at in the past 24 hours, but the notion that i’m so pitiful that i’m just “picking the wrong people” and wearing blinders is kind of a a joke. i can just as readily give up on somebody as i can be obsessed with them. it’s some ugly cosmic power i have. i always allude to my vague sense of pride, and that’s a part of it, a refusal to be desperate. i’d rather be alone forever than be desperate! you don’t say things like this because you mean them.

it’s intentionally pitiful. manipulative. again, not a word that i like to wear, but it fits nice and snug around the ol’ waist. and i tap into it even during the smallest interactions. i don’t know why it’s a part of me. maybe it’s the way i was raised, maybe miasma is really a thing, and i’m just converting all of my dad’s alcoholic guilt-trip energy into something equally ugly and not yet as sinister. sometimes a conversation is like an experiment. sometimes you just say things because you wonder about the response, not to get things off your chest.

i said it and she paused for a second, and then said “i’m sorry.” like she was complicit in the crime, a #metoo with an entirely different meaning. an admission that she never wanted to be with me either. which, like, doesn’t really bother me at this point, but it’s interesting to hear people react that way. not a supportive “aw shucks pal, you’ve got the right person for you just around the corner! and besides, i love you tons, c’mere you big pile of marshmallow!”

or maybe she could just smell the manipulation. i do that too, like, when homeless people go on a tangent to explain how much of a christian they are before they ask for money. i met one guy who crossed his chest, pointed at the sky, and made a cross with his fingers all within the span of 5 seconds. it kind of made me feel like a vampire or something. anyway, when you smell a manipulation tactic, the first instinct is always repulsion, and it’s usually the one you go with. maybe that’s why she said what she said the way she said it, a casual brush away. not playing that game. it makes the whole probe kind of a dud, but that happens with probes, doesn’t it?

it’s peculiar, treating conversations like experiments. trying on personalities and characters like masks. you can’t really do that without some kind of cost. it ruins your image, to the people you don’t want to be ruining your image for. you can’t have any fun anymore! as i recently said to someone else i know. there’s no rehearsal when it comes to this kind of stuff. no rewind. you just say it and let yourself be destroyed. for science, i guess.

---

anywho, i think i’m becoming more comfortable with being an awful person. like, just letting the floodgates loose. i had a girlfriend when i was 14 who was very catty and loved to gossip, one day she said she was gonna try not to do that anymore, it made her feel bad. i begrudgingly went along. i think it destroyed the magic. and anyway it didn’t last very long, people can’t really make choices like that for themselves. i mean, maybe some people can. i don’t really know. but i’m just accepting some of those evils now and letting them boil on the stovetop. all the things i try to hide or not be. all the things i don’t want people to see when they look at me. i suppose it’s a victory for “being yourself,” isn’t it? isn’t that the ideal everyone tries to reach? or is that just another piece of teenage tv melodrama advice that doesn’t really mean anything? i saw a clip from the new spider man movies, spider man was like “you’re right, i should just be myself,” and his fat friend was like “c’mon peter, nobody wants that.” he might be right, and maybe a lot of people aren’t themselves because they know they suck.

i still feel like i don’t know who myself is. there are some people out there that spend every waking moment worrying about what other people think about them, about trying to put their best face on every day, trying to be a really good person, under the assumption that it will also make them feel good. be kind, love, and be loved. constantly wondering what the best thing to say is, and constantly drawing a blank. people like me! i feel like half the time i hear somebody i don’t have any reaction inside. it’s not that i have secret hateful thoughts that i bottle up or anything. i just have like, a lot of undeveloped land in there, somehow. i could run a kid over on his bike and shrug it off. i could be having sex with a beautiful woman and not feel a hint of arousal. my mind goes blank a lot.

or maybe i just have a lot of cellophane over certain parts of myself. does that make sense? i haven’t had the experience that required me to unpack that box there in the back. i’m sure if i actually ran over a kid, went to court, had to face their sobbing parents, got slapped around by some interrogating police officer, spent time stewing in a jail cell, my heart would be bleeding with guilt and regret. i just haven’t gotten a chance to make that mistake yet and unlock that part of myself.

or maybe when i’m faced with things that i ought to care about, a big shield pops up, a wave of protection, and everything goes blank. a sort of dissociation, which i really hate in other people when i want to know them, but maybe it’s something that i have too. like a wall of fear that doesn’t let anything in or out. it’s paralyzing, being put in a situation, and not knowing what you would do in that situation. your head doesn’t let you know the next step, so you wait there, dumb and sweating. it’s only until directly after that everything comes flowing through, kind of like that “oh, THIS is what i should have said, this is what i should have done” feeling that is so incredibly common in everybody.

or maybe i’ve just locked the front door, but the back door is still wide open. and things only get to me through specific channels, ones that i wouldn’t normally count on but are tried and true. i don’t know what i’m doing in a bed with someone, but i come alive naked in front of a webcam. i’m a wallflower at parties, unless i get a specific concoction of drugs and drinks in me that pulls everything out, wit charm guts and all. i can’t talk for shit, but i can write up a real enthralling tale. who knows what’s going on in there?

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i feel like i’ve been trying to get to know this girl through the back door, the front door is locked. like, talking to her, when she makes herself available (scarcely), doesn’t bring me any closer to knowing her. KNOWING her, whatever the hell that means. so instead i’ve been digging around in everything she tells me she ever liked, movies she watched, books she read, things that had a profound effect on her. trying to put together machine parts and figuring out what potions were sloshed together to make her. it’s a backwards way of trying to get to know someone.

i want to get to know people by living with them. i feel like it’s the purest way, learning a person’s diet and mannerisms and how often they do the dishes. it says a lot about how someone feels inside, i think, the time they wake up for work, or the food they have for lunch. every person i’ve ever met, i wish i had gotten to live with them for a while. i want those nitty gritty details, i thrive off of them. sometimes i even want to become people for a while, like some psychotic twist on method acting. 

actually, that’s probably not true. i tried to think of why i would want to be somebody else and it’s just exhausting. and i think i only want to understand other people so i can shape myself to be the best for them, again that kind of manipulative “i’m trying my best to be perfect for you” desire. the problem is, i’m never going to figure anyone out, and even if i did, i don’t think i have the proper judgment to decide what would be best for them either. i need to figure out a better way to interact with people, clearly. letting people just be themselves and not thinking about it drives me nuts sometimes, but it’s obviously the best. i just don’t want to be one of those Men that goes through life steam rolling everyone else under whatever my personality ends up being, just being unabashedly unashamedly “myself.” that kind of person gets on my nerves too. i get the feeling some people really love that kind of person, but oh here i go again trying to decide on “kinds of people” like i’m trying on shoes.

it’s honestly a mess. maybe i’ll grow out of it. like maybe i’ll have a kid and the only person i’m allowed to be is a good dad, for the rest of my life. there’s some comfort in that, knowing who you gotta be and just committing to it. right now, i could still be anybody. i don’t know if i’m a baker or a writer. i don’t know if i’m an artist or a mindless consumer. i don’t know if i’m a bad boyfriend, a libertarian, a genderfluid fruit basket, or just a total sack of shit. and that really bothers me. i mean, obviously.